I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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