i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
