What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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