i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
