Sponge bath it is.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
