Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
