dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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