This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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