I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
