We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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