I wanna bring you to show and tell
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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