Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
