Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
