Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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