3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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