i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
