Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
