So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
