i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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