i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
