So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
