I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
