I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
