i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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