My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
