I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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