pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I died a long time ago.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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