i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
