So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
