? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Your tits are I can't wait for
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
