nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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