Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
