dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
