there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
