apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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