I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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