Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
