So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
