An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
