3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
