Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
