I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
