Small penises have feelings too.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
