Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize