Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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