so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
