happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
