I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
