I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
