I have demons in me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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