it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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